What You Should Read According to What Your Phone Battery Is At
Have you ever wondered what you should read according to your phone battery? Well, you are now. And guess what, we have the answer for you. Is this list entirely unnecessary? Yes. Are we giving it to you anyway? Absolutely. Because that’s what NOVL is for. To answer the questions you never asked and give you the A+ content you deserve. YOU’RE WELCOME.
100% - 85%
The Wicked King by Holly Black
You’re definitely going to want full battery for this one. If you’ve read The Cruel Prince (if you haven’t, what are you doing? Stop everything and go read it now), then you know that when the action hits, it hits! Well, imagine that, but it’s the whole book. Yep, that’s what The Wicked King does. I dare you not to finish this in one sitting. You’ll need your phone at full power if you’re reading on it, for sure. And even if you’re reading a physical copy, you’re still going to need your phone to order food, because lord knows you’re not going to be able to do anything but read until you get to the last page. And then you’re going to need your phone so you can text your friends about the pain and agony you’re in as you wait for Queen of Nothing.
84%-70%
Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl
Your phone may not be completely full, but you’ve got some energy. It’s the perfect time to start a series! Beautiful Creatures is the first in a four-book series and is a beautiful love story set in a small Southern town. The slow-pace life of Gatlin will lull you into a sense of security until things take a turn for the dark and romantic. Before you know it, you’ll be sucked into a world of curses and fate. Just make sure you keep an eye on that phone battery. Consider plugging in before you start book two.
69% - 55%
Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between by Jennifer E. Smith
Stalwartly on the top half of phone life, you’ve got nothing to worry about just yet… yet. Unfortunately for our heroes in Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between, they’ve got plenty on their plate. Clare and Aidan have only one thing left to do the night before they leave for college: figure out whether they should stay together or break up. The quiet evening they had planned quickly turns into an unexpected adventure that will lead them to surprising realizations and hard truths, and ultimately a decision. But will it be goodbye for now or goodbye forever? You’ll just have to read it to find out!
50%-40%
You Must Not Miss by Katrina Leno
Okay, so you’re not in the green but you’re not in the red either. At least not yet. You know who you sound like? Magpie Lewis. She’s not okay, not by a long shot, but when we first meet her, we have hope she’ll make it out. Magpie’s life recently imploded, both at school and at home. Soon she begins writing in a yellow notebook all about an imaginary town called Near more perfect than her real life could ever be. When that place she dreams up pops into existence in her backyard, she realizes it’s a place where she can have whatever she wants. Even revenge. Watch Magpie’s life change and twist for better or worse, while your phone slowly sinks into the red.
39% - 25%
Night of Cake & Puppets by Laini Taylor, illustrated by Jim Di Bartolo
You’re nearing the red, but that’s okay. You’re looking for something short, sweet and romantic, but with some bite. Night of Cake and Puppets is that read! This companion novel to The Daughter of Smoke and Bone series is highly illustrated, making it the perfect book to read from a physical copy if you’re looking to save battery life. Either way, it’s a quick, light-hearted romp, perfect for those moments when you know you should probably plug your phone in soon. And once you finish Night of Cake and Puppets and charge your phone, you can begin Daughter of Smoke and Bone. Be warned: you’ll be in it for the long haul. Keep an outlet nearby!
25% - 10%
Rags & Bones, edited by Melissa Marr and Tim Pratt
You are most decidedly in the red here. But your phone isn’t dead and there’s time for a quick read yet! Try Rags and Bones, a short story collection that highlights new twists on timeless tales. With contributing authors like Holly Black, Neil Gaiman, Rick Yancy, Kelley Armstrong and more, any one of these tales is bound to enchant. And since they’re all short stories, you don’t have to worry about being interrupted by a dead phone! You can read in peace knowing that each of these is short enough to get through before your phone really kicks it.
9% - 0%
And the Trees Crept In by Dawn Kurtagich
The darkness is creeping in and your phone is nearly dead. If you really want to lean into this vibe, pick up And the Trees Crept In by Dawn Kurtagich. When Silla and Nori arrive at their aunt’s home, something fishy is going on. Why have they come to live in a cursed house and why are the surrounding woods so eerily still? Silla begins to wonder why it seems like the trees are creeping ever closer. And who is the tall man with no eyes Nomi plays with in the basement… a man no one else can see? Let the creeping darkness of this novel play tricks with your mind as your panic at the near-death of your phone mounts higher. But, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll plug it in soon.